Dillinger strikes again... zombie killed!

There I was, listening to some "Dillinger Escape Plan", a song called "43% Burnt" with the shuffle cranked up, watching the subway stations pass by when suddenly; A young man wearing a white button shirt and a clean-cut blond hairdo seems to be attempting to use his god-given super powers to intercept the signal going from the iPod to my brain and cross-fade it with his voice. Of course, all I could see was a pair of lips wobbling in distorted shapes and some stranger moving over to the seat next to me while Greg Puciato was still screaming some distorted "i wan't to knock you off your horse" into my ears.

So I did what any polite person listening to hardcore ear-drum thumpin metal would do, I lowered the volume. As my ears started re-adjusting to the ambient intensity of the sound I am greeted to an imposing verbal handshake. The man presents himself as being some "blah blah blah of the Christian Faith of blah blah we are here to blah blah from Arizona do you speak french or english?". Now mind you, I would usually dismiss this attempt with a series of verbal blows to the head, but I was caught off-guard and Chris Pennie's drum was still ringing in my head.

Then, out of my mouth comes a simple little sentence that any religious maggot to humanity should understand "Sorry, but you're barking up the wrong tree: I'm an athesit!". Apparently though, religious cultist zombies are not only blinded by faith, they're also deaf to whatever doesn't fit within their presets.

He: "Do you believe in life after death?"
I: "No"
He: "We all live our lives blah blah need sense of blah blah reason to exist blah blah second chance blah blah"

And I'm like, shakin my head and thinking "Didn't he hear me, is my voice turned on?". So at this point, the zombie sees me looking out at the stations more frequently and less furtively and says "Are you remaining on for a couple stations?". I cracked a smile of relief and said "No, I'm off at the next one!". As I'm saying that, I gather my things and start towards the sliding doors awaiting for the train to come to a stop. In a last attempt to eat my soul and drain my blood, the zombie says "We have a web site and blah blah blah if you're interested".

"You know what, I'm not interested, as a matter of fact I'm pretty secure in my Atheism, and what you're doing right now is exactly what I'm against. Imposing brainwash!". Now I might or might not have thrown in a "fuck you" in there, I can't remember if it was just in my head or not. But I'm pretty sure zombies can't hear bad words...

There is no moral to this story, but if I'd have to make one up it would probably be this:

Zombies are out to take over the world, they've risen from the depths of the earth and started taking control of underground transit. They're attempting to eat your soul one at a time and have this ridiculous way of speaking. Known weaknesses are deafness and blindness, so one must --in order to defend himself-- poke a stake through their hearts or just plainly ignore them, pretend as if they're lower than the lowest of bums. If you just so happen to have a bum lying around at the moment, turn around and start having a conversation with the bum.

-- or --

Alway be prepared!